I Can't Believe You Just Said That!
by The B.A.T
Summary: A CONTINUATION!... of a continuation of a little humor on things that would never be said or even happen in the little world of Zoids. Additions to additions to the original. R&R!
1. The author is wierd!

I'm bored, it's Sunday, and there aren't any responses. So I'll just write this to ease my mind.  
  
This is a parody of things our beloved Zoids characters would never say.  
  
*Dislaimer- I do not own Zoids, Power Rangers, Dragonball Z, Final Fantasy, or anything else that  
  
appears in this little thing. They are owned by Bandai, Funimation, Squaresoft, Sony,  
  
and whoever the hell else owns them! I am writing this for entertainment purposes only.  
  
That being said, read and enjoy.  
  
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!  
  
***********  
  
Bit: Hey Liger, you think Leena's cute?  
  
(Liger growls)  
  
Bit: Yeah. Would you put her in the sack at the drop of a dime?  
  
Liger: HELL YES!  
  
***********  
  
Naomi: You know what? Screw aiming! I'm going all out! Wild Weasel Unit Total Assault!  
  
Leena: Yeah! That's the spirit!  
  
***********  
  
Layon: I'm not mad at Tauros cause he stole Leena's mother… I'm mad cause he won't give me  
  
Leena! Damn she's hot!  
  
***********  
  
Harry: You know what, Benjamin?  
  
Benjamin: What, Harry?  
  
Harry: I realized I don't like Leena! I'm really gay! Come here, Bitty-poo!  
  
Bit: What the #@$@$?  
  
***********  
  
Brad: You know what? Buddhism has taught me that money doesn't matter. Here, Doc, you take it!  
  
Tauros: Thanks, Brad! I think I'll donate this to charity and cut back on impulsive shopping!  
  
***********  
  
(Brad watching Leena and Naomi wrestle playfully in mud)  
  
Brad: Lesbians! YESSS!  
  
***********  
  
Jamie: Doc, you know that night you heard those strange noises in my room? Well, Leena came in  
  
naked, and she…  
  
***********  
  
Layon: I HATE NOODLES! Bit! Give me your damn cookie!  
  
***********  
  
Tauros: Layon, I didn't take Leena's mother. She forced me to marry her. You know you're the only one  
  
for me!  
  
Layon (sobbing): You- you mean it? Oh, Steven! I've loved you so!  
  
***********  
  
Leena: Hey Bit, wanna lotion down my back? Hee! Hee! Hee…  
  
***********  
  
Jamie: Leena, why are you always crippling Bit?  
  
Leena: Don't you know? He likes it rough!  
  
Bit (in a hospital bed): Hell yes!  
  
***********  
  
Bit: Bit Cloud… Cloud Strife! I've got green eyes, he's got green eyes! Father! It's me, Bit!  
  
Cloud: Who the hell are you?  
  
Bit: Do you remember a woman named Naomi? She said she got drunk one night and…  
  
***********  
  
Jamie: Wanna know how I've got another personality?  
  
Bit: Yeah, sure!  
  
Jamie: Come out Wild Eagle!  
  
(Wild Eagle comes out)  
  
Bit: Hey, you guys look alike!  
  
Jamie and Wild Eagle: FU-SION! HAAAAH!  
  
***********  
  
Brad (yelling into another room): Bit, how can you always be relaxed at times like this?  
  
(Bit walks out, followed by Naomi, Leena, and Pierce, whose clothes are all ruffled)  
  
Bit: Just comes natural, I guess…  
  
***********  
  
Bit: Cloud, sorry about that, I thought you were my father…  
  
Cloud: Don't mention it…  
  
Bit: You're actually my brother! Do you know who father is?  
  
Cloud: …the hell?  
  
************  
  
(Jamie and Wild Eagle break apart from fusion)  
  
Bit: Cool!  
  
(Jamie and Wild Eagle remove their skin, revealing to green aliens)  
  
Jamie: I am actually Piccolo, and he is Nail. We are from Namek!  
  
Bit: Even cooler!  
  
************  
  
(Naomi pinning Brad down)  
  
Brad: What are you doing?  
  
Naomi: Brad, I don't dress like this for nothing!  
  
************  
  
Bit: Okay, Liger, let's show them our true forms!  
  
(they transform, with Go! GO! Power Rangers music in the background)  
  
Bit: I'm really Tommy, the White Ranger! And this is Saba, the White Tigerzord! Zoid, Zord! Get it?  
  
************  
  
Bit: Cloud, I guess we're not related after all!  
  
Cloud: … so you've finally come to your senses…  
  
Bit: Yep, Jamie showed me this neat trick today! It all makes sense now! We're actually Super Saiyans!  
  
C'mon! Let's fuse!  
  
Cloud: You're weird, you know that?  
  
************  
  
Brad: Squall Leonhart, you are actually my nephew.  
  
Squall: What the hell are you talking about?  
  
Brad: Don't you see a resemblance between me and Laguna?  
  
Squall: …whatever.  
  
*************  
  
Layon: Steven, Leena may be your daughter, but Leon, he's my son. Layon, Leon, get it?  
  
Tauros: The hell are you talking about?  
  
Layon: Let's just say that Leena's mother has been around.  
  
Tauros: NOOOOOO! WHYYYYY?  
  
Well, that settles it! I've officially gone insane! Now that I've finished this, don't expect anything else from me until I finish my midterms. Assalaamu 'Alaikam!  
  
-The B.A.T. 


	2. Screw the first chapter's title! The aut...

Once again, I'm bored, and really don't feel like writing a long fic, so I'll just add on. Personally, I liked my first part better, but this should improve once I get inspiration.  
  
Leena: You're damn right it better!  
  
Me: BIT! COME GET YOUR DAMNED WOMAN NOW!  
  
(Bit walks in with Brad and Jamie, puts Leena in a straightjacket, tries to carry her out)  
  
Bit: Yusef, Oops, I mean B.A.T., sorry about that. (nervous laugh)  
  
Leena: I AM LEENA! HEAR ME ROAR!  
  
(Everyone sweatdrops except for Leena, my eyes start twitching)  
  
Me: Why does God torture me like this? Doesn't He realize I'm on medication?  
  
Really… I don't know how much more of this I can take.  
  
Oh, well, what the hell… let's just get on with this while I still have some sanity left. In any case, moving on…  
  
*Disclaimer- Wow, this is gonna be a long one, so let's get started! I don't own Zoids, Final Fantasy,  
  
Resident Evil, Dragonball Z, Dino Crisis, Metal Gear Solid, Destiny's Child, Eminem, Fred  
  
Durst of Limp Bizkit, Gundam Wing, Escaflowne, or anything else that I mention in this  
  
work that obviously reflects my sad life. They are owned by Sunrise, Capcom, Funimation,  
  
Squaresoft, Konami, Nintendo, and whoever the hell else! Just don't sue! And now…  
  
Continuation of…  
  
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!  
  
*************  
  
Bit: The Sisqo Kid was a friend of miiine…  
  
Jack Sisqo: Bit, I'm gonna kill you.  
  
*************  
  
Jack Sisqo: You all may think that it's these high speed battles that give me a rush, but (pulls out a bag of  
  
weed) heh, heh…  
  
*************  
  
(Leon watching Bit being chased by Leena)  
  
Leon: It's a zombie!  
  
Brad: Wrong Leon, Leon.  
  
*************  
  
Pierce: Damn! All that flirting and I still didn't get Bit or Jamie!  
  
*************  
  
Jamie: Damn Jim Carrey… I was supposed to star in Me, Myself, and Irene!  
  
*************  
  
Leena: You know, Layon's kinda hot!  
  
*************  
  
Vega: Hmm… Berserk… Fury. Say! My Zoid's name is the same as two status effects in Final Fantasy 7!  
  
*************  
  
Heero Yuy: I'm suing you for copyright infringement.  
  
Bit: I don't understand!  
  
Heero: The term Zero is mine and mine alone!  
  
*************  
  
Ash Ketchum: I am a representative on behalf of Pokemon and am suing you for copyright infringement.  
  
Pierce: I don't understand either…  
  
Ash: You pilot a Zabat. I've captured a Zubat! Do you see where this is going?  
  
*************  
  
(When nobody is looking)  
  
Tauros: Okay! Enough of these damn Zoids figures! I'm pulling out my Barbie dolls!  
  
************  
  
Bit: I've got a new idea for a Resident Evil video game!  
  
Some Capcom Guy: And what would that be?  
  
Bit: You know how you made Resident Evil 3: Nemesis? How about Resident Evil 4: Leena?  
  
Some Capcom Guy: Say, you may be on to something… that's ten times as scary!  
  
************  
  
Naomi: It's not fair! I was supposed to star in Dino Crisis!  
  
Brad: Sorry, Naomi. Regina's ass is bigger than yours.  
  
************  
  
(Naomi, Leena, and Pierce dancing)  
  
Naomi: ALL MY WOMEN, WHO INDEPENDENT!  
  
Leena and Pierce: THROW YOUR HANDS UP AT ME!  
  
************  
  
(Bit commentating in a boxing arena)  
  
Bit: And now, the undisputed champion of the world… Harry CHAAAAAMP!  
  
(Harry enters)  
  
Harry: Yo, yo! I'm a champ, a man destined to be king, and I'm pretty! Fly like a Stormsworder,  
  
sting like a Schneider! (bobs and weaves)  
  
************  
  
Brad: Damn that guy with the bandana and fancy code name! I was supposed to star in the  
  
Metal Gear Solid games!  
  
Jack Sisqo: Don't feel too bad, I actually have a bandana and I still didn't get the part!  
  
************  
  
Naomi: Yeah! I just slept with a rock star, and you didn't!  
  
Leena: Um, no you didn't.  
  
Naomi: Yes I did! He had long, brown hair and he's so cold and quiet towards me!  
  
Leena: Um, that was just Brad…  
  
Brad: (walking out bedroom and fixing his clothes) No complaints over here!  
  
************  
  
Bit: C'mon Cloud! Show me how to use some materia!  
  
Cloud: …go away before I use Omnislash on you.  
  
Bit: COOOLL! You're gonna teach me Omnislash!  
  
(Cloud smacks himself on the forehead)  
  
Cloud: Why me?  
  
************  
  
Leena: And I am, whatever you say I am! If I wasn't then why would I say I am?  
  
Bit: Okay, whatever, BITCH!  
  
************  
  
Bit: (to Leena) I did it all for your cookie! COME ON! Your cookie! COME ON! So you can take  
  
that nookie, and just give it to Brad! Just give it to Brad! Just give it to Brad! Just give it to Brad!  
  
Brad: First Naomi, now Leena? Damn! I'm on a roll here!  
  
**********  
  
Chang Wufei: Leon, I'm suing you for copyright infringement! Where's your integrity?  
  
Quatre: Harry, I'm suing you too!  
  
Hitomi: Leena, since they're doing it, I might as well sue you too!  
  
Leon, Harry, and Leena: What for?  
  
Wufei: You took my voice and made me out to actually be a nice guy!  
  
Quatre: Harry, the way you use my voice is abominable! You make me sound like a fruit!  
  
Hitomi: You took my voice and butchered my personality! Now Van thinks I'm as bitchy as you!  
  
***********  
  
Jamie: You know, the strangest thing happens when I transform into a Super Saiyan. Wanna see?  
  
Tauros: Sure!  
  
Jamie: Hah! (transforms, but starts looking more like Bit) Hi! I'm Bit Cloud!  
  
***********  
  
Jamie: Hey Cloud!  
  
Cloud: … hi there…  
  
Jamie: Hah! (transforms into Super Saiyan Bit) Miss me!  
  
Cloud: (eyes twitching) Not you again!  
  
Bit: Relax! I just came to apologize and tell you I finally found my father.  
  
Cloud: … so who's the poor bastard-- I mean, the concerned father?  
  
Bit: If you ignore how short my hair is, I could actually be Vegeta's son!  
  
Vegeta: What the hell are you talking about, human?  
  
Cloud: Good luck, you're gonna need it for the next chapter this twisted author writes!  
  
***********  
  
I know, very corny! But I'll have my inspiration back when the midterms end today (YESSS!) When I thought about it, Jamie and Bit do kinda have hairstyles like Vegeta, too, so I made it that when Jamie goes Super Saiyan, he becomes Bit! For those of you who don't know, Harry is Quatre's voice, Leon is Wufei's, and Leena is Hitomi's, which is like a complete 180 in personality (scary!) In any case, I was actually surprised to find reviews from my first one, so surprise me again. Assalaamu 'Alaikam!  
  
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman 


	3. Screw the first two once again! The auth...

Hey, you know the deal. My job is to make you laugh with the senseless antics of this fic. Your job is to laugh senselessly at the senseless antics of this fic. I'll be getting around to Chapter six of the Two Birds, One Arrow this weekend, maybe even today (half day, yes!), but it will definitely be up soon, so please hold on!  
  
Leena: What makes you think they care so much about it?  
  
Me: What makes you think they don't?  
  
Leena: I'm way much cuter!  
  
(I sweatdrop)  
  
Me: Why me… Bit, I thought you'd keep her under control.  
  
Bit: Don't worry, this will be the last time…  
  
(drags her out)  
  
Me: Are you sure?  
  
(gunshot in the other room)  
  
Bit: Yeah, I'm definitely sure!  
  
Me: All right, but just as long as you're sure…  
  
Okay, let's get down to business.  
  
*Disclaimer-  
  
And now, the continuation of the continuation of…  
  
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!  
  
Mary Champ: You know, Bit, it's not just your Liger I want (she growls).  
  
Bit: Yeah, I am a pretty sexy guy, and you don't look so bad yourself!  
  
_______________  
  
Harry: Now, you may think Sebastian here is my robot aid, but push this button, and… (Sebastian turns into a vibrator)  
  
Leena: And what would you need that for?  
  
Harry: (putting it in his pants) Oh, nothing…  
  
_______________  
  
Relena Peacecraft: Mary Champ, I'm suing you for copyright infringement.  
  
Mary: For what?  
  
Relena: For using my voice illegally, what else?  
  
Mary: Are you sure you wanna do that?  
  
Relena: What do you mean?  
  
Mary: Given that nobody likes you, the courts would be biased, so I could counter-sue you and know I'd still get money out of it!  
  
Relena: Damn… you're right.  
  
_______________  
  
Zechs Merquise: I would sue you Jack Sisqo, but I like your style.  
  
Jack Sisqo: Why aren't you gonna?  
  
Zechs: Because you're the only person in the show that stays true to my loner, warrior personality.  
  
_______________  
  
Bit: Hey Brad, Jamie, Harry, wadda ya say we all start our own boy band?  
  
Brad: Sounds promising… will there be money involved?  
  
Bit: Of course, it's a boy band!  
  
Jamie: Now to assign the roles…  
  
Bit: I of course, have to be the leader that all the girls scream about first!  
  
Jamie: I'll be the cute youngest guy of the group that all the girls can't help but adore.  
  
Brad: I'll be the wild, cold-acting one second to the leader.  
  
Harry: What about me?  
  
Bit: You'll just be that one loser that nobody likes. Every group except N'SYNC has gotta have one!  
  
______________  
  
Bit: Have you noticed that the creator of the Zoids New Century Zero series draws all of his women with exaggerated bodily features?  
  
Brad: Of course! How could you not notice?  
  
Jamie: Not that anybody's complaining, though…  
  
______________  
  
Brad: Damn that Matthew Lawrence! I was supposed to play Shawn's older brother in Boy Meets World! Hell, I even have his last name. Brad Hunter.  
  
______________  
  
Pierce: What the hell? Why didn't I get a last name? Even Stoller and Palta got full names!  
  
Jamie: A babe like you? No guy would be able to remember it, that's why.  
  
______________  
  
Vega Obscura: Hey Leena, can I milk you?  
  
Leena: No! Where the hell'd you get that crazy idea?  
  
Vega: Well, you know that blue-haired lady, Sarah? She took off her shirt and told me to suck on these two, round things… she called it milking.  
  
______________  
  
(Dr. Tauros walks in the room)  
  
Bit: Hey doc, we were just having a conference. Did you notice how well- featured every woman in the show is?  
  
Tauros: Of course! Do you know how many times I've snuck a peek at Leena? Now I understand why Layon's always giving her flowers and stuff!  
  
______________  
  
Brad: The best things in life are free! But you can give them to the birds and bees! I need mooooneey!  
  
Bit and Jamie (background singers): That's what I want!  
  
Brad: That's what I want!  
  
Bit and Jamie: That's what I want!  
  
Brad: I want mooooooooooneeey!  
  
Bit and Jamie: That's what I want!  
  
_____________  
  
Bit: Hey Cloud…  
  
Cloud: What are you doing back here? Aren't you supposed to be with your father, Vegeta?  
  
Bit: Nah, I can't. He blew himself up fighting some creature named Majin Buu.  
  
Cloud: That's harsh… but what's that got to do with you coming back?  
  
Bit: I figured since we were such good friends, I'd hang with you again.  
  
Cloud: (eyes twitching) Oh no! Not again!  
  
_____________  
  
Bit: Do you really wanna know why we call the Sabre Tigers Team the Fuzzy Pandas?  
  
Naomi: Yep.  
  
Bit: They all did some time in jail, and well, let's just say they made a lot of people feel warm inside.  
  
_____________  
  
Tauros: Hey, Leena, you wanna see my takes on Britney Spears, songs?  
  
Leena: Sure dad!  
  
Tauros: You're all slaaaaaves for me. You're all in debt, I won't let you out yet.  
  
Leena: That's pretty cool! Hey, I thought of one too…  
  
Tauros: Well let me hear it!  
  
Leena: Oops! I did it again. Wasted all my ammo… didn't hit a thing. So sorry, sorry!  
  
_____________  
  
(Jamie wakes up in bed next to a naked Leena)  
  
Jamie: Ahh! What the hell happened?  
  
(Leena wakes up)  
  
Leena: Oh hey! Thanks for last night. You're the best!  
  
Jamie: Last night? I was at home sleep, and I don't remember going out or getting drunk…  
  
Wild Eagle(in Jamie's mind): Heh, heh, heh…  
  
_____________  
  
Harry: Thanks for last night. I knew you'd finally come to me.  
  
Leena: You don't really have to thank me because… I'M A MAN BABY! YEAH!  
  
______________  
  
Layon: Steve, why did you go and get Leena's mother pregnant?  
  
Tauros: It was an accident, I swear!  
  
Oscar Hemeros: Yeah, Layon! I had a go at her too. (smiles while thinking about it) Come to think of it, everyone did. This idiot just happened to get her pregnant!  
  
______________  
  
Bit: Hey Cloud, can I pilot the Highwind?  
  
Cloud: Sure… but only on one condition…  
  
Bit (really enthusiastically): What is it?  
  
Cloud: You've gotta fly it straight to hell, and never return!  
  
______________  
  
Sarah: Come on Vega, it's time for another one of our "sessions."  
  
Vega: Oh really? Wow! Can I milk you again? I really liked it last time!  
  
______________  
  
(Leena, Pierce, and Naomi dancing sexily, Pierce is the lead singer)  
  
Pierce: I want you to rooock the boat.  
  
Naomi and Leena: Rock the boat, rock the boat, rock the boat.  
  
Pierce: Work it in the middle.  
  
Naomi and Leena: Work the middle, work the middle, work the middle.  
  
______________  
  
Brad: You remind of a girl that I once screwed. See her face whenever I, I'm screwing you. Wouldn't believe all of the things we used to do… can I do all of those things to you?  
  
______________  
  
Wild Eagle: Hey Pierce, wanna go sky diving? (refer to Zoids Newlywed Game to get it)  
  
______________  
  
Leena (calling over to Bit): Come on over, come on over baby…  
  
______________  
  
Leena: You may think I'm Leena, but I'm really (throws off costume)… RELENA!  
  
Bit: You may think I'm Bit, but I'm really (throws off costume)… HEERO! (pulls out gun and shoots her.)  
  
______________  
  
Leena: Damn that Lara Croft! I should've been in Tomb Raider! Leena Croft sounds better, I've got a much better body, and I'm not afraid to use guns!  
  
______________  
  
(Naomi is dreaming)  
  
Naomi: Oh, Harry, do it again…oh yes, yes, yessss!  
  
Bit: You see? I tried to tell you Brad. (snickers to himself)  
  
Brad: I can't wait to tease her about this…  
  
______________  
  
Solid Snake: Who the hell are you?  
  
Jack Sisqo: (pulling out a gun) Let's just say, the right mercenary for this job.  
  
______________  
  
Brad: Confess! You were dreaming about Harry!  
  
Naomi: No um, I wasn't… not the Harry I think you're talking about! I was dreaming about Harry… Potter! Yeah! That's it!  
  
Bit: Didn't sound like it to me… could've sworn you said Champ when I heard you.  
  
Naomi: SHUT UP BIT!  
  
Brad: Even so, isn't Harry Potter a little too young for you?  
  
Naomi: But what about Sarah and Vega?  
  
Bit: What are you talking about?  
  
Naomi: Haven't you heard? Leena's been telling everybody.  
  
_______________  
  
Leena: What are you so happy about, Vega?  
  
Vega: Sarah milked me!  
  
Leena: … I don't get it.  
  
Vega: Well, it's a little different from me milking her. First, she unzips my pants and…  
  
_____________  
  
Okay! If there were too many sex jokes, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm running out of ideas, so if you review, please suggest ANYTHING that comes to your mind, and I'll play around with it. As for all the Vega jokes, I've found it really disturbing how close he is to Sarah and how well she controls him, and I know she's not his mother! For the Wild Eagle sky diving joke, please refer to my fic, Zoids Newlywed Game if you don't get it. Also, I like the Naomi, Pierce, and Leena takes on popular songs, so suggest any songs and/or groups you can think of. Hell, any songs for anyone would be nice! I could also use some more Layon jokes. In any case, moving on… assalaamu 'alaikam!  
  
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman 


End file.
